A note to myself in 40 years...

When I look back on the short second of my lifetime when I had young kids in the house, I know I will remember the fun, the laughs, the playtime, the imaginations, the crafts, the holidays.  I know I will remember my kids favorite to-do's, to-eat's, to-reads and to-watches, the Lovies, the BIG stuff.  What I only hope I remember are days like this!  You know how labor hurts?  If you don't know that yet, welp, yup it does!  But, the miraculous thing about our bodies and hearts are, you forget!  You forget the sweating, crying, pain and anxiety.  All of that just goes away.  Gone.  

Our life has been carazy town these past few weeks.  Piper had RSV and had an ambulance ride, 3 ER trips and a 4 day hospital stay, we got home left the next day for a family vacation to New Mexico where none of us slept because Blake and Brian got a head cold and Piper got an ear infection, had Easter a few days later and discovered today she is allergic to Amoxicilin.  Add to that, three dogs, one of which re-injured his bulging disk in his back, one that is old and one that sheds like she is suppose to be bald and her body doesn't listen, hubby being gone on a jeepin trip for a few days, taxes, real estate biz, life...yeah, it has been busy.

I like busy, no, I LOVE busy.  I thrive on busy.  This time however, it is even getting to me.  I feel tired, not like sleep tired but my to-do list will never end and I can't get caught up tired.

a snapshot of my day:

606: Piper up crying, therefore I decide to get up and get stuff started before I have two "helpers"
7: piper up and eating while I clean kitchen, tend to dishwasher, fold laundry and start a new load
730: Blake up, dressed
745: fight blake to eat breakfasts quick before Preschool while I vacuum and put away clothes
810: leave for preschool
830: make calls on taxes while finishing blake's birthday invites
1040: leave to get B from school so we can scoot into a last minute Dr appt for Piper's rash but first go by library to drop off books I have had in my car for 2 days, home to pick up bags of stuff to exchange/return at Target, Walmart, Old Navy.
1145: Brian and Blake playing at home while P and I Dr, errands and new prescription
345: Home from errands, unload groceries, get tax deductions sent to CPA (yes, it is 4/9)
530: play with B for a few minutes (normally, thankfully this happens MUCH more often than it did today)
605: leave to show a house
710: get home, eat dinner, piper in jammies and breathing treatment, blake breathing funky - give him one too,
735: start the process of Blake in bed
8: leave Blake's room (for the first time)
815: Leave Blake's room and threaten to take something away if I return
830: Blog and clean up kitchen from dinner
9-??: Read in  jammies, in bed, in quiet (until I pass out).

When I am 68 and retired and living with my hubby in a small ranch house that we keep at 80+ degrees, watch the news a lot, and hopefully be visited by my family often, very, very often...I hope I remember days like this...

Days where I wake up BEFORE the kids just to get a head start on cleaning picking up the house so the dishwasher gets unloaded and reloaded before the breakfast dishes are dirty so they don't sit in the sink all day, days where I started taking my chipped nail polish off last night, ran out of nail polish remover and had to find time to get to the store with two kids in tow to get more in order to remove the polish from the other 5 fingers (which didn't happen until this evening so all day, well, we will just say it is the new thing), days when I get in the shower (finally even though it has been a thought all day) and sand falls from my bra, days where I wake up with one plan and end up going to the Dr. for a rash instead, days where all I want to do is read and then by the time I find 20 minutes, I read 5 pages and wake up 3 hours later on TOP of my book, I hope I remember how exhausting it is/was.  

See, I know I will remember how wonderful and exciting this time was.  I actually worry almost EVERY day that I am not going to handle my kids growing up well.  So, this is for you 68 year old Kendra.....Now, go eat a hot meal, take a bath, have some wine, watch a show in your jammies before 10pm and get a full night sleep without having to get up to search for an across-the-room chucked binky (that blends in with the rug)!