I read. I couldn't help but imagine and my friends Cassie, Brenna and I stood and watched our kids eat lunch and shook our heads, fought back tears. We stood there, broken-hearted in a building full of kids, noises of happy and fun mixed with an occasional crying baby or toddler who was ready for a nap.
Cassie and Brenna left early, it was too much, too surreal. I stayed for a while and let my kids play as I continued to check my phone for updates as details of the shooter played out.
Then, I turned it off. I prayed that I would not have to see the faces of these beautiful, amazing angels that were taken. That prayer was not answered. I have seen their a few times on Facebook as people "like" the pages that their families have started. I look into the eyes of those babies and for a moment, I just apologize to them. In my heart, I tell them I am sorry that their amazing life ended with an act of such hate. I am sorry that WE can't make their world what they deserve it to be.
I immediately went to a place of "we MUST do something" and my initial reaction was met+
al detectors in all schools. After a few days, I have come to realize that isn't the answer and neither is Gun control. I do believe bringing God back into our school is. Bringing him into our lives, is. That is what I truly believe BUT that is not what this post is about.
The debates will go on and on and on, but I have a plea. A plea for our children from one mom to another.
Turn off the news, protect them from this evil if only for a little while.
Now, that is not to say they won't hear it or see something about it or have a friend at school that will tell them about it. No. It is the sad truth and I am not saying to lie or hide it from our children. I am asking for you to find an age appropriate way to explain things like this to them. Take time, make a plan and explain and then answer their questions. Listen.
I have a 4 1/2 year old and an almost 2 year old. My 2 year old needs to know nothing. Her world is babies and bows, as it should be. My 4 1/2 year old has not seen a second of the news (I actually never watch the news and haven't for years, but that is my own personal thing), when I was reading my phone on Friday, he was playing happily and when he needed my attention, he had it. I filled my "need to know" when he wasn't around or in appropriate ways that didn't affect him. Today when I dropped him off at preschool, I saw two of his classmates crying. These are kids I have never once seen crying for their mommies and as we are half way through the year, I fear that their tears must have been from the fear in their hearts from things they learned or over heard this weekend.
It broke my heart.
Imaging what they heard and then in their "kid minds" what they have pieced together and concluded to the point of tears and fear at school makes me so sad.
So, that is my plea...please, turn off the TV, don't rob the kids of their innocence sooner than it will be taken from them, let them live in a world of cars, toys, friends and happiness. Give them love and hugs, make them feel safe and loved.
Blake did see a few seconds of a picture from Friday on the news as I was trying to find a show for him to watch on tv this morning and his response was "uh oh". It amazed me. Just from the police cars shot from an aerial view, he knew it was bad. He still does not know any of it. IF I need to tell him, this is what I will say "there was a bad guy and he did some very bad things. Some kids go to go to Heaven and we are just sad they aren't there with us anymore. I bet they are loving Heaven, Blake". When his fish died, it was our first discussion of "heaven" and his concern was whether his fish needed money to buy food :)
He is 4. You will have to find your own appropriate way of explaining and sharing with your kids, but please don't show them pictures, don't let the news explain it to them. They leave out the love and focus too much on the killer. We don't need our kids putting any kind of connection of idolization to this man.
A few months ago, we had the awful tragedy of Jessica Ridgeway's death to deal with. It was miles from our house and it terrified me to my core (as has this school shooting). Blake knew a little more during that incident. He needed to. It was an opportunity to teach him about "stranger danger" and to have a talk about why it is so important to be safe and make good choices. He was protected from the awful details because again, it came from mommy and not the news. He knows that a very bad man did a very bad thing to a sweet and precious little girl. He knows he hurt her. He knows that she is in Heaven and he knows that her family and all of us in our community are sad she isn't here with us. He has not mentioned it since and that is how it should be. It ISN'T something he should think about weekly...that is left for me. I am an adult. It is my job to protect him both emotionally and physically. As he gets older, it will be my job to teach him HOW to handle things like this on his own and how to try to comprehend evil (even though as adults we struggle with things like this all the time). He will get there one day, but I won't make that day one day sooner than it needs to be.
How are we suppose to put heavy emotional burdens on our kids at such young ages and have them grow up to be emotionally stable?! And, we wonder over and over how someone at 20 could do something like this..
**Below is just my opinion**
I saw this post from "pumpkin pie photography" today. It has gone viral and has 143,216 likes as of right now and tons of people are commenting that their elves will be doing this tonight.
As a person, I love this. I love stopping for a moment to remember these precious lives lost. As a mom, I do not love "elf on the shelf" candle tribute.
Let your kids be kids. If your kids are old enough to understand a tribute to the lives that were lost, they are probably too old for Elf on a Shelf.
I love the idea of lighting a candle and remembering or praying for those lives lost and their families, I am just a bigger fan of moms and dads doing this than a fake "elf" who is meant to bring Joy and Magic. Let your kids have their magic, let them have their happy.
Again, just my opinion and I KNOW it was done with love and care in the heart of this mom. I am not attacking this mom AT ALL, I am just trying to show another example of how we don't need to take our children's innocence too soon.
Give your kids an extra hug, take time to turn off the things that demand our attention and give them, the ones who truly deserve it, ALL of our attention and love.
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