Welcome back.
A few weeks ago, I was listening to sports radio in my car (nothing new during Broncos season, just ask my poor children) and a reporter was talking about Von Miller and is impact on the team both on AND OFF the field, and he said "He's the cool kid in school that is nice to everybody." Listen, I don't ACTUALLY know Von (such a bummer) but from what I have seen, it would appear the reporter is onto something. His style is rockin', his skill is crazy town, and yet he is humble, thankful, and always learning and growing. Has he struggled? Of course! (show me someone who hasn't). Is he perfect? Nope! (show me someone who is!).
I loved several aspects of what Von shared. I love that he is a Nerd. Love it. To be fair, he was a Nerd before it was cool to be a Nerd and I think we can ALL agree, that's something pretty huge. I love the story of him and his close friends who are now all in the NFL. Who in the world gets to say that?! The photo of Snoopy was HILARIOUS. I already had a mental image of what he looked like with his glasses strapped around his helmet, but that visual certainly HIT.IT.HOME! I also think we can ALL agree that Roosters are dope.
All that aside, Mama Gloria is where its at.
Can we just focus on her for a minute? I know NOTHING about her story, her struggles, her marriage, her life as a mother or otherwise. The ONLY thing I know is what Von shared in this brief story and yet she has been on my heart all.day.long.
So I started working on my mom. I started wearing her down. You know how it’s done:
“Mom. Mom. Mom, come on. I’ll make my bed every day. I’ll mow the lawn. Mom, just let me play football. I’m ready!”
Thank God for my mom. She finally broke down one day.
You guys, what a beautiful thing!This isn't just beautiful because Von is crazy talented and focused and he made it far in the NFL, that is simply a cool byproduct. No friends, THIS is beautiful because it is unconditional love. It is how I desperately strive to raise my children and I hope you will strive to raise yours! Let me explain...
Why do you think Mr. Miller shut Von down? Fear. It is crazy scary as a parent to watch your children go out into this world and risk failure. When they do, we often put some of it on ourselves. (The same is true for the opposite...good grades, we brag. Its natural). If you know me, hopefully you understand that I am NOT judging any parent at all, ever. We are ALL just doing this thing the best we know how!
Beauty is in the fact that, Mama Gloria allowed her son to be vulnerable regardless of the outcome. She fed his determination. She saw obstacles and instead of protecting her baby chick (no pun intended), she said," OK, go do your thing." Do you see the BEAUTY?
This strikes a passion in me that few other things do and I hope you will stick around and allow me to make my point (we all know it takes me a while to do that sometimes - sorry).
Let's look at it from a different perspective. Let's pretend for a moment, he stunk on the field. Wait, bad reference (and if you're a Von fan you will know why...). Seriously though, what would have happened if Von wasn't Von Miller? What if the thick lens wearing fifth grader Von wen't out and stunk.it.up. Worst on the team. What IF it wasn't his "thing?". Are you ready to see beauty? What I love the most is that even IF that had happened, a little boy would have known his mother was there supporting him. THAT kind of unconditional love does things to people. It does things to children.
Our children are sent into this world young to start dealing with life. It starts easy with little things such as sharing, rec sports, contests, competitions, academics, and the list goes on and on. As they get older, they have to learn how to navigate relationships and life.
Participation medals are meh. We aren't all good at everything. The truth is, the medal for a completed season and a medal for first place are both a medal saying job well done, albeit in a different way. Some will do it better than others and others will do different things better. As a parent, what we should care MORE about is who is saying "job well done" and if the job was awful, we should acknowledge that it isn't a good feeling and then we should be the one asking "what do you want to try next?" and encouraging another try at SOMETHING different.
The sad fact is, the world will tear them down. Every person on this Earth has gifts and some more than others (darn you perfect people). What is also true is that EVERY.PERSON on this Earth is also not great at things.
The biggest truth in all is that, IT.DOESN'T.MATTER.
As a parent, I have always believed that it is my job to offer experiences to my child so that they can determine what they enjoy and through that, learn the truth of their gifts and downfalls.
It isn't about the end result, its about the process of trying, learning, failing AND succeeding.
My son has played sports since he was 2 (right after he got his first pair of thick glasses and later bifocals). Street hockey was a disaster (in fairness, he couldn't even count so maybe we were jumping the gun..."take 5 shots" - blink, blink.) He is a fish and has been in swim lessons forever, basketball, baseball, karate, flag football, soccer, you name it. He HATED some, he was GOOD at some and he has SUCKED at others. We are still trying to find his favorite and often it changes with the seasons. He's not the best baseball player on the team and likely he won't ever be, but he loves it. When our team moved up to machine pitch and he was growing frustrated with a lack of hits, we asked him if he wanted to try something different in the off season. Much to our dismay, he said "NO!". He wasn't having fun at the time with baseball, but he wasn't ready to stop. He wanted to keep trying and I am SO glad we agreed to let him! Looking back, that may be one of the best things we have done as parents yet. I remember Brian and I sitting on the bleachers for the first game of machine pitch and my palms were sweaty because I was afraid he was going to suck and he was going to feel failure and so would we. In a way, he did and he still leaves some games frustrated or feeling bad about his performance but it isn't my job to say "no, you aren't good...let's do something else." He's grown in baseball and gotten better but that is no longer our focus. If a time comes when he decides he is done, we are all for that too. NONE of that matters. I don't care if he plays for 1 season or 7. If he makes it to the big leagues one day, great. Hopefully he will treat me to dinner like Von did for Mama Gloria! What DOES matter is that I offer what Mama Gloria offered; support, love, opportunity.
The world will show him what he is good at and what he isn't. Heck, it already is at age 7. But I will BE.DAMNED if any of those discouraging words ever come from me!
Von also talked about the teams' saying from this season,
"Iron sharpens Iron"
(no surprise Ware had some impact on this. He is another one that could inspire a blog post or two...these two together?! UNREAL.)
Anyway, Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."
Mama Gloria, in that moment, was Iron that sharpened her son. She supported him in his desire to do his thing. Neither failure or success would have taken that lesson away from him.
Parents, lets be Iron for our children. Let's let them grow and learn and struggle and fail and support them and love them and grow together and become better right along side them! Let's encourage them to be their best and find what they are the best at. Let's love and support their dreams even if all we can see are the obstacles that are in their way. We may get the storybook ending or a few tears in the end but regardless they will know they tried and they were supported and THAT is worth far more!
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